In my heart, I feel that being a martyr and advocate of mental health and awareness is my purpose. I have had quite the journey in regards to my own mental health and I wanted to use what I’ve learned to educate others. I wanted to use the knowledge I’ve gained to be a better spouse. I want to be a better brother. I want to be a better father. I want to be a better person. Mental health is important and optimal mental health can lead to optimal efficiency in life. We should all strive to spread the importance of keeping up with one’s mental health. In the past few years, life has thrown us some curveballs that have affected all of us in different ways and that only reinforces the importance of being at peace with yourself.
Being such an advocate for mental health thus makes me feel like a hypocrite sometimes when it comes to what I preach. My own mental health is nowhere near optimal, and it sometimes makes me feel like a fraud. How can I tell other people to be mindful when I let everything bother me? How can I speak ? I don’t want anyone to have to experience some of things I have had to. Some of my expression of emotion is really far out and might even bring some negative light onto mental health. I don’t want others to be ostracized due to their own issues that are reminiscent of mine. I try every day to be a better person, but I am triggered to. I can have the logic stripped from my mind when my emotions get really riled up. I work in therapy to lower these occurrences, but I am human too. I can try my best to be this paragon of mental health awareness and then have an explosion five minutes after publishing this post. I can admit that. We are all human and I want the world to see that not all that glitters is gold. Everyone is struggling with something and if we continue to play pretend and only show the highlights of our struggle we are filtering reality. We are not being true to the struggle that it takes to become a wholly completed person. I feel anxiety sometimes when I post certain vulnerabilities in my content as I feel I will be judged. Nevertheless, that was the purpose of my blog. To lay myself bare out here in order for those who feel alone to know that you are not.
I want to continue to use my experiences and journey to give people hope that it does get better. It probably won’t get better in 30 minutes or less, but it does get better. You will struggle sometimes. Some days might seem perfect and then you have a setback. As long as you still live and breathe, you have the potential to improve your situation. I know it can be hard to be in our different, respective circumstances, but as the great Delroy Wilson said, better must come. I will feel anger, but eventually a better emotion will follow. I might have a setback in my journey, but a breakthrough will follow.