There is nothing funny or entertaining about cheating on someone. Its heart wrenching to be cheated on. The pain is immeasurable and you are forever changed, no matter which side you fall on. I can’t begin to comprehend how people can do this to people and continue to live life all the same. Human relationships are the cornerstone of our society and making light of a heart smashing situation like infidelity is one of the biggest things wrong with the world today.
Now imagine: You have been with the love of your life for 6 years. You met in a pure, almost fantastical way. You didn’t bond with trauma. You learned all you could about this person and together you went through life’s ups and downs together. You bonded over shared experiences, likes and dislikes, joint ventures, common interests, etc. You grew together and became intertwined with one another. Life without the other person became a foggy image, as you could not imagine such a life in the first place. They become the first thing you think about when you wake up and the last thing you think about before you go to sleep. You feel more engrossed with life and the future seems bright as long as this person is a part of it. You heart skips a beat when they are near and overall they make you feel great. You argue and have disagreements, and you don’t share all the same interests, but that is okay because you love each other and the differences you both have make you individuals that have come together to form an authentic bond. They become your person. Your significant other. They may even become your husband/wife. They have become your life (in a healthy way) Words can’t describe how you feel about them, you just know in your heart that they add on to what you are and you do the same to them.
Your lives are intertwined and they are the last person that you would expect to ever hurt or betray you. So then why the fuck would they do that? Why would they think it’s okay to give all this same energy to someone else? Why would they think it’s okay to spend time with and develop a bond with someone else? To love and cherish someone else? To be physically intimate with someone else? All of this without telling you, or even worse, straight up lying to you about it. It takes truly fucked up people to do this kind of shit. They know how you feel about them and they know how they feel about you. You may have had your differences, but you never thought they would go the route that they did. Your love was supposed to be the safe landing to any hardships you may have faced. Unfortunately, they didn’t care about any of that. They felt the way they did and acted accordingly. They met someone else and all of a sudden, you didn’t really mean that much to them anymore. All of your time and energy, didn’t mean much. Your love? Didn’t mean much. They met someone else and that was pretty much it. They never said anything to you about how they felt or that they wanted out. No, they needed to have their cake and eat it too. They needed to have your energy and the other person’s as well until it was solidified. They monkey-branched (which IS cheating) They thought they would never be caught, so no harm, no foul. They never meant to hurt you, yet they did the MOST fucked up shit they could have anyway.
If you want someone else while in a relationship, you should let your partner know. You end things with people right then and there. I feel like most people would rather you ripped off the band-aid rather than drag them along into oblivion. It is OKAY to not want to be with someone anymore. It is OKAY to want someone different for yourself, no matter how long you may have been with someone else. It is okay to break up with people. Sometimes, people no longer serve us or our spirit and we need to CUT TIES. Heartbreak in this way is a normal part of life and most adults understand and accept this. What is not fucking okay is to think you can CHEAT on people. What is not okay is thinking you can get from this person and that person as well (polygamy is obviously not included in this discussion, I am speaking about monogamists in this entire post). People expect a level of loyalty and integrity when entering into a relationship. It’s an unwritten rule that neither person will cheat. We either work this shit out or we break up. No leading on, no false promises, no misunderstandings. Only self serving, indecent people think otherwise. People’s feelings will always matter. The human heart is not a plaything. People can be forever changed by the actions of others and we all need to understand that. Playing with the lives of others just for your own happiness and gain is selfish and disgusting.
I’ve noticed that infidelity and it’s effects have been made almost normalized in our society. Everyone seems to be cheating nowadays. If you aren’t cheating, you are probably being cheated on. Emotional and physical affairs are an everyday thing now. It’s all over media. Movies constantly showcase it as though it’s just a normal part of life. Rap lyrics are always talking about fucking another person’s spouse or partner. People speak on it as though it’s almost a fun thing to smash someone’s heart to pieces. The more normalized it becomes, the more people think they can do it with no recourse. Society is becoming desensitized to cheating and the effects, and I feel that is putting us on a dark road to an apathetic future. I cheat on you, you cheat on me, yet we claim to love each other. The word “Love” is thrown around with infidelity and clearly people either don’t understand the concept of love or they are just throwing the word around carelessly.
Being cheated on does things to you that people either don’t comprehend or don’t care about. Both equally devastating. You become a different person. You don’t trust people the same and sadly, you may never trust anyone 100% ever again. You see the world differently. Everyone becomes capable of hurting you, which might ignite feelings of paranoia and fear of betrayal. Your self esteem takes a semi-permanent blow as you wonder what the other person (or people) had that you didn’t. You become angrier, hating the other person for destroying in a small amount of time the trust it took years to build. You question if they ever loved you in the first place if they could do that type of shit to you. Your emotions go haywire and life gets harder to live. If you suffer from mental health issues, they can be exacerbated by infidelity, sometimes to a very disturbing extreme. You begin to question everything and worry if the life you have been living has been one big lie the whole time. You got kids? You start questioning paternity. This shit affects everything, fuck whatever you have been told. It hurts to the core. The worse part is that even with time, all of these things may still affect you for the rest of your life. You can literally get PTSD from being cheated on. It can feel and be traumatic as hell to go through and recover from it. Therapy is almost a given to even try to come to terms with the feeling.
I don’t care if your favorite rapper raps about infidelity. I don’t care if your favorite influencer laughs in the face of it. I don’t care of all of your friends have done it. It’s fucking deplorable. To cause so much emotional damage to a person just because you want to be selfish is fucked up. You want that other guy/girl so much, go be with them and leave your person. Tell them straight up before you take the next step with the other person. Don’t lead them on. Don’t give false hope. Don’t lie to them. Don’t fucking try to juggle them with the other person. Don’t believe what is in the dark won’t come to light. You will be found out, and unless your heart is pure evil, you will live with the pain you have caused and they will forever be scarred. The climate for relationships has so many stereotypes because of this shit. “All men cheat” “All woman are not to be trusted” “He’s just a friend, don’t worry” No the fuck he wasn’t. You were just a shit person doing shitty things and then you got found out.
Fuck what you heard, infidelity is not the wave. It’s not cool or empowering. It was and never will be a good thing. We should not be speaking so light on it while those who have gone through it continue to suffer. The jokes, the satire, the lessening of its impact, all this shit has got to stop. There are actual people being destroyed by this. The tears being shed are real. The aftermath is real. Infidelity is too damn normalized and it angers me to the depths of my soul. You can’t even watch a movie or listen to music without being triggered. I wouldn’t wish the pain of infidelity on anyone. Being unfaithful was never funny. Too many lives can be affected by it for us to just act like it’s just another Tuesday when it happens. Fuck infidelity and those who partake in it. Fuck those who think it’s a joke or something to just mull over. It isn’t. For some people who have gone through it, it comes very close to the pain of losing a loved one, as most people lose themselves after it happens.
Tyrone's Mental Health Blog 