Ima keep it real with y’all on this one. Unapologetic and Raw. This mental health shit is hard. It is hard to practice what you preach and be truly positive about your mental health in the world we live in. Mental health awareness is growing rapidly and that is a very good thing. People are becoming more aware of themselves and the traumas they may have gone through that have shaped who they are today. Therapy and necessary diagnosis have changed the game in how we see people for who they are and what they went through and are currently going through. The world is heading in a good direction and the future looks bright. It ain’t all sunshine and rainbows, however, and triggers exist. It’s like pressure plates are installed in our minds and the more pressure is applied, the more intense the physical, emotional, or even social reaction will be.
Some days I get triggered. Triggered hard. Like full clip ready to blast on every one. I won’t pretend to live every day on some hippie peace bullshit. Some days I really feel my insecurities and they come raining down on me like acid. I hate myself for how I look. How I talk. How I think. How I feel. Some days I walk through society and I just hate everything and everyone. Why do some people have to act the way they do? Why do some people have to be so mean and nasty? Should I join in to make myself happier and not get so triggered? Life gets to me sometimes and I go off and forget who I am for a minute. I forget my own morals and beliefs when I feel I am wronged, and I feel like that a lot. People judge you for some of the most stupid, ignorant shit and it’s really hard not to wild out and lose it on these kinds of people. I feel like sometimes I don’t belong in this type of world, and it’s only getting worse with time. Social media has the world fucked up, no matter what anyone wants to say. The entertainment industry, the news, politics, everything almost feels set up to trigger or influence someone in to doing something, usually negative or not serving anyone in a good sense. Life can be grating sometimes and you can lose sight of your purpose and fall into that sunken place of subpar mental health.
This world is losing empathy. Shit, I’m losing empathy. I’m losing patience for the way people judge others in this world. I’m losing patience with social media and the absolute fucking devastation it has brough upon us, especially the youth. “Influencers” who can’t influence their followers to stay in school and get an education, but can happily influence their follows to alter their bodies and show every inch to strangers. Body positivity falling to the wayside in place of vanity and fake bullshit. Scamming, deceit, and lies are the only way for some people to feel like they have something going on. That’s sad any way you slice it. The media in general is fueled by negativity and negative content get’s promoted like you wouldn’t believe. It’s like you can’t even go on popular sites without something trying to spoon feed you some stupid shit meant to get a reaction out of you. It’s all just so debilitating and for the people that can resonate with what I’m saying, it affects you.
Mental health is a journey. A long ass journey that we all will eventually have to go on in order to reach our full potential. It’s not a walk in the park. It’s a swim through thick mud. You will go through a lot of shit. I know. Trust me. And I intend to chronicle as much as I can on this platform in order to give someone out there the message that you are not alone. You are not crazy for what you are going through. You will be triggered. You will feel emotion. You may have an episode. That bitch will try you. That guy will be an asshole. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, all that shit might need to be deleted. At the end, we will all come out of this better people. Life can be fucking annoying , but there are very good points we need to prioritize in order to live our best ones. I am not nor will I ever again be ashamed to tell my stories. I don’t want any of you to ever be ashamed of living your own stories. And just like the rest of my story is still being written, so are yours.